Marketing Strategies for Rapists | Marketing Technology Blog

Today I received my Wired Magazine and I was a little excited to see a DVD come with it, Eureka: The Best Ideas Come From the Most Unlikely Places, A Shell Films Production. It’s actually a nice little film talking about the invention of a drill that can be directed and routed to other oil within existing fields instead of just drilling straight down. Shell is able to access much more oil this way inexpensively and it’s now adopted industry wide.

Then I got to thinking… these are the same guys that are screwing all of us with record profitability (not net income… profitability!). So, I’m curious, what’s the point of this marketing? Are you trying to drug me with beautiful scenery and nice little movie while you’re secretly raping me at the pump?

Hey Shell! Why don’t you just save the movies, the DVDs, the ‘inspirational’ story telling and start telling me how you’re going to get my gas lower than $3.40 a gallon. I don’t give a crap about how you save money until you pass it on to the consumer.

NOTE: I am actually contemplating taking the bus to work… but keep in mind that’s still fossil fuel being burned. And all you electric smart asses can take a hike, too. Electrics just pass along the energy consumption to coal plants and are environmentally unsound with their massive corrosive batteries. If I worked close enough, I might take a bike but I’d die because there are no bicycle paths down here.

So Shell, here’s what I think of your video! (I didn’t realize DVDs didn’t shred well)

http://wpstar.com Noah

Mr. Karr, you are the king of blog post headline writing.

or

How to go from WTF to OMG in 10 seconds
Tim S

> Hybrids just pass along the energy consumption to coal plants.

Not out of the box, they don’t.

Hybrids are powered by electricity, yes, but that electricity comes from a generator that’s powered by gasoline. Additionally, hybrids can store up the energy used by braking in a battery, so the power the brakes are wasting to slow down the car can be reused with a very high efficiency.

Sure, you can buy a kit to convert your car into a plug-in hybrid and charge that battery yourself and increase your fuel efficiency at the cost of your home electricity bill (and, in many cases, by burning coal), but that’s not something that most hybrid owners do.

Now, if you were talking about pure electric cars, what you say would be more relevant, but we’re not, so it isn’t.

http://marketingtechblog.com Douglas Karr

You’re absolutely right, Tim!

I, of all people, with a background in electronics technology, should have been more careful with my wording! I’m afraid I was in such a tizzy about the stupid movie that I shot my mouth off.

I DO look forward to lighter-weight and longer-lasting batteries so that Hybrid cars can become less expensive and more efficient. I’m also excited about the opportunities that solar cells will bring as they become smaller and more affordable.

Thanks for keeping me honest!

http://opinionatedmarketers.blogspot.com John

Funny, I thought making profit was the point of business.

Do you give your services away for less than their market price?

http://marketingtechblog.com Douglas Karr

Actually, John, through my blog I give away my advice free. I’ve also programmed some nice Projects that are free.

I am a capitalist and I do believe in profit; however, not at the expense of a robust economy and peace. Shell and Exxon are turning the world on their heads trying to shake every last dime they can from our pockets.

Unfortunately, since they’re a monopoly, there’s not much of a way to ‘move to the competition’ is there?

http://geekwithlaptop.com Sean

Hey Doug… was that video really of you trying to shred a DVD in a paper shredder?

That’s classic. I think they do make shredders that can go through CD’s and DVD’s… and for fun… you could go to your local Staples or Office Depot and use a display model… now that would be a video… hehe…

‘Hi, I’m Doug Karr and in this video, today we are going to shred a DVD at the local Staples’

http://marketingtechblog.com Douglas Karr

That was, in fact, me trying to shred the DVD. It wreaked havoc on the shredder but I eventually got it out. Time for a bigger shredder!

http://www.modifoo.com modifoo

?for extra credit (and total confidence that the DVD is gone for good) put it into a microwave oven – preferable one that you have no plans of using for food again.

http://onepowerfulword.blogspot.com Law of Attraction

haha DVD got stuck..hope your shredder is working fine…but the title is very catchy

http://marketingtechblog.com Douglas Karr

The shredder did have a tough time, but she’s back now!

http://www.theappleofmyi.com/blog Jon

Doug,

Just started reading this and enjoying it! Ta muchly!

So, $3.40 a gallon, get the frickin’ violins out!! Try living in rip off Britain!!! I get raped, decapitated and crucified when I go near the pumps. No sympathy for you old chap!

http://marketingtechblog.com Douglas Karr

Hi Jon,

I am empathetic to my friends across the pond! I also have friends across Canada who pay much more than we, gluttonous, Yankees, do. The problem here is that we’ve gone from $2 to $3.40 in a matter of months. That’s a hard shift to get used to when you live in ‘ol suburbia and depend on your car.

When I lived in Denver, I took the bus and rail to work and loved it. I’m afraid I don’t have very good options here in Indianapolis. Perhaps if we drive it up to $5 or even $10 a gallon, we’ll have more options!

Cheers and thanks for commenting!
Doug

http://modifoo.com modifoo

I remember when I first read your post, I reacted strongly; but I couldn’t pin-point it. First I thought it was about that I do not believe that it is a god-given right to have access to cheap gasoline. But I knew that wasn’t it.

Today, while driving, it dawned on me. One of the many good things about your blog is the careful use of language (remember the Basecamp post). In your post you are using the word “rape” as an analogy for paying unreasonable prices. While I understand the point you are making, I think we all have to be careful about comparisons. Yes, it does paint a strong picture to compare a person to, say, Hitler. But at the same time, this makes Hitler appear less evil. In your post, this would translate to: rape isn’t really such a terrible experience, just a nuisance.

I’m in no way implying that that’s how you think, or even meant it to sound.
http://marketingtechblog.com Douglas Karr

Thanks, Foo! I appreciate you sharing that with me and I had mixed feelings on using the word myself since any comparison to actual rape could be really offensive. I definitely used the word as ‘link bait’ but in hindsight, I’m not sure it was that great an idea.

At the root of my comparison was not the actual act, but the premeditation. How would someone who is going to use and abuse you market themselves? In this case, Shell Oil, a company with record profits beyond our dreams, is trying to get us to like them. We’re fighting a war and our soldiers are engaged directly in trying to protect the oil fields and distribution systems.

Rather than the companies trying to limit visibility and contribute to trying to build a peaceful middle east (they really could help!), they’re taking advantage of the opportunity to get increased profits. I know that’s still not a comparison to rape, but people are, in fact, dying over this! It really irritates me and I vented.

Thanks again! It appears you took great care in wording your response. No worries, I would never attack someone with valid criticism of my words – and yours were very important. I’ll definitely rethink my wording next time!

With Utmost Respect,
Doug

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